


you are the reason

by nightsisterkaris



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Tahiti (Agents of SHIELD), based on a culam scott song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 03:22:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17820887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightsisterkaris/pseuds/nightsisterkaris
Summary: "There goes my heart beating'Cause you are the reasonI'm losing my sleepPlease come back now"





	you are the reason

 

__**"There goes my heart beating**   
**'Cause you are the reason**   
**I'm losing my sleep**   
**Please come back now"**

 

    Melinda May slowly opened her eyes. Tahitian sun burned trough her eyelids, and she looked to her right side. Phil Coulson laid at her side. It was their twenty third day here in Paradise. She moved her hand to his scar, the black lines almost consuming his chest.

   His heartbeat was slow, and somehow, Melinda knew; _this was his last day_.

   She had noticed his body slowly shutting down yesterday, and Melinda had hardly slept that night. She had listened to every heartbeat until May had forced herself to drift off, the sight of his sleeping form fixed in her memory.

  Melinda forced herself to be calm. He hadn't opened his eyes yet. Pulling herself as close as she could to his side, Melinda pressed her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it slowly thumped against her cheek.

 

**_"There goes my mind racing_ **

****_And you are the reason_ ** **

**_**_That I'm still breathing_ ** _ **

**_**_I'm hopeless now"_ ** _ **

 

   May kept her breathing steady as she wrapped an arm around him, keeping him near.  His breath tickled her forehead, and she felt him shift. "Melinda." He whispered, a ghost of the sound of her name putting a faint smile on his lips.     

   "Good morning." She choked, her eyes filling with tears that blurred the dark lines that cut not only across him, but their way into her emotional heart as well.         

   Phil hummed, sighing with pleasure, moving to wrap his arm around her shoulders. And he also knew;  _this was his last day._

  Melinda wasn't hungry. She felt sick. She couldn't lose him now. Melinda wasn't strong enough to live without him. May  _couldn't_   _imagine_  a life alone. He had been wrong. Melinda would never find someone else. Nobody could ever replace him.  _EVER._

 

__**"I'd climb every mountain  
And swim every ocean  
Just to be with you  
And fix what I've broken  
Oh, 'cause I need you to see  
That you are the reason"**

 

 May held onto every ragged breath that he breathed, holding him tight as he reached up and stroked her hair, her tears finally spilling over to drip to his chest. "Hey, Mel... Don't cry." He whispered as her chest quivered with a sob held back.     

   "I can't lose you, Phil." Melinda responded, not looking at his face. "Not again."     

   "I know." He took a big breath. "But I know that you are strong." He said, the sunlight illuminating the room with a soft glow that sent the shadows away. "And I need you to take care of Daisy. You need each other."     

   Melinda didn't want to hear this, but swallowed her emotions, putting his words to memory - they would be his last in this life. 

   

__**"There goes my hand shaking  
And you are the reason  
My heart keeps bleeding  
I need you now"**

 

   Melinda's heart broke. Sure, she thought she knew heartbreak after Bahrain, After Andrew, After Phil's first death, but his was so much worse. May decided that it felt like falling down a dark hole, watching the sunlight fade and get smaller until it was gone.     

   His heartbeat started to skip beats, missing every few pounds. Melinda expected herself to panic when it finally happened, but she was in denial. Her heart ached, it hurt to breathe, it cut deeper than any bullet or knife ever could.     

   The fading life was shaking, Phil holding on by pure will. "I love you." She said. "I've loved you more than anyone." she promised. "I'll never love anyone like I've loved you."     

   "And I love you." His breath was shallow, it slowing as well.   

  

**_"If I could turn back the clock_ **

__**I'd make sure the light defeated the dark** _ _

__**I** _ _ __**'d spend every hour, of every day** _ _

__**Keeping you safe"** _ _

 

   If only she had found a way. If she had fought harder. If she had just tried harder, They wouldn't be here. If only she had a way to go back and knock some sense into herself. If only she could tell herself to save Phil no matter what.        

  She should have protected him from this. Melinda stared into his blue eyes, which watched her with a gentle affection. She should have kept him safe.               

  Maybe she could have saved him. Taking his free hand, May felt him squeeze hers in reassurance. May began counting his heartbeats. She felt her own heart slamming in her chest, and Melinda realized that her own heart was trying to sync in time with his.    

    She'd trade anything,  _ANYTHING_ to save him. Even herself. And she'd do it in a heart beat.      

   Phil's hand stopped touching her hair, his hand falling beside her neck, fingers curling on her warm skin. Melinda pulled herself to kiss him, her lips meeting his for the very last time. He returned the kiss, his own moving to capture hers, holding her close.        

   May's palm rested against his chest. Her sensitive finger tips feeling the thumps of his dying heart. "I love you, Melinda." He whispered as he kissed her, his eyes closing.                

   May suddenly realized that she no longer could feel his heart against her hand.                  

   And his lips went slack against hers, collapsing.       

        

_**"And I'd climb every mountain** _

__**And swim every ocean** _ _

_**_**Just to be with you** _ ** _

_**_**And fix what I've broken** _ ** _

_**_**Oh, 'cause I need you to see** _ ** _

_**_**That you are the reason, oh** _ ** _

_**_**(I don't wanna fight no more)** _ ** _

_**_**(I don't wanna hurt no more)** _ ** _

_**_**(I don't wanna cry no more)** _ ** _

_**_**(Come back, I need you to hold me closer now)** _ ** _

_**_**You are the reason, oh** _ ** _

_**_**(Just a little closer now)** _ ** _

_**_**(Come a little closer now)** _ ** _

_**_**(I need you to hold me tonight)"** _ ** _

 

   Hot tears trailed their way down Melinda's cheeks, and she let her head drop to his chest. Her body let lose, trembling with sobs as she choked them back. Her face quivered as she looked back up at him, his fingers letting go of hers. She held him as close as she could, squeezing.

  Sunlight danced, but the colors paled into faded, ugly versions of themselves as she denied his death. The blue sky made her think about the color of his eyes, so she shut that out too. The palm tree outside their window lost it's happy vibrant green as Melinda's life shattered.

   "Come back!" She wailed, her fist gripping the sheets as she punched the bed. "I can't live without you! I can't!" 

   Melinda could hear nothing but his last words, his promise of everlasting love and devotion. Her hair fell into her face, his hand falling to the mattress. 

   "I love you Phil. And I'll never stop loving you. Ever."

 

_**"I'd climb every mountain** _   
__**And swim every ocean  
Just to be with you  
And fix what I've broken  
'Cause I need you to see  
That you are the reason"**

 

 

 


End file.
